Please help me, I'm at the end of my tether.

Stella

Hi, all.<br><br>I've had the most stressful week, particularly the past three days. I hope you can give me some advice. The couple that lives downstairs has two small children who are running back and forth every day for a few hours, particularly in the evening, often till 9pm. Over the days they've been at home ALL day. In a 1-bed flat, how can this be allowed? Me, I just wanted some peace and quiet and get on with some writing or reading (I don't do Christmas). Instead of peace and quiet, I got trampling, screaming, shouting ALL day! Yesterday was so bad that I had to flee my flat, because even with listening to some music via headphones, I still heard--and worse--felt them trampling about constantly. They know that they're disturbing me as I've had a calm chat with them two weeks ago. The result is that, instead of a warm hello, I now get a frosty nod. I wouldn't mind it so much if they'd changed their behaviour, but they haven't. I believe you can teach your children respect for others and tell them not to jump and stomp around all evening. It's really getting so much on my nerves that I get super aggressive and leave the house for a brisk walk to calm me down. I don't think it's just me, I doubt anyone would put with this. The woman beneath them seems deaf and also has super loud music playing all day, which I believe has to do with their trampling. <br>The excuse that's how children are, isn't fair. You cannot expect others to put up with your behaviour. I feel that they live their lives as they wish and I have to arrange my life around them to be able to relax. This house is not designed for families or party people (which I had beforehand below me). My current neighbours don't play music or so, and are normal nice people, but how can they sleep knowing that someone's in distress because of their behaviour? <br><br>To top this shite, my landlord is herassing and bullying me, in addition to other things that happened since I've moved in. <br>Please refrain from comical comment like get earplugs and play loud music, etc. I'm over all this and don't have an ounce of humour when it comes to this. I need some serious advice. I'm looking for a new place asap, because I can't take it anymore. The neighbours' and the landlord's behaviour.<br><br>What would you do (apart from moving, of course)?<br><br>Cheers.<br>

Mirandola

Sorry things are tough. Maybe they'll get better when schools open? Two kids in a one bed flat is pretty cramped.

vetski

Is it worth trying to record the noise inside your flat and then playing it to them, so they realise there is a problem and you're not just being awkward? The lease/tenancy agreement may well have a clause about noise, though those are hard to enforce. There aren't any occupancy-related laws to the number of people in a given size of property; but if they're renting, I am a bit surprised that an agent (if reputable) would let a 1-bed to a family of four...

Stella

I thought it's a difficulty. Recording isn't possible as it's mostly the trampling that drives me insane. It's a privately let flat. Previous tenants in my flat were four, too. Landlord turned a blind eye. He's an entirely different problem, as I said.<br><br>Mirandola: no, they run back and forth as soon as they come home. Till 8/9pm. Every day.<br>

checkski

Poor you. I do sympathise; I too would be at the end of my tether. It might help a bit to try not to feel too angry with the family. You say they are nice normal people in some respects, and well done for talking to them calmly. It can't be easy for any of them, being cooped up in a one-bed flat. Perhaps they feel stressed as well, but helpless. Whatever the rights and wrongs, you plainly can't go on like this, and moving is the only longer term solution. In the shorter term, I suggest a spot of CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBT seeks to lower your mental temperature a bit. It can help with a range of problems, although depressives may find it inadequate. A related problem might be tinnitus. You can't cure it but CBT apparently helps you out of the panic mode. You learn to take it more for granted, to be less aware of it, ultimately to be able concentrate more on other things. It occurs to me that meditation might achieve a similar result, although the approach is different. Try googling some of the foregoing, if interested. Good luck.

checkski

Whoops. I see I misspelt behavioural - or rather my spellchecker did - or is that the American spelling? Never mind.

Sutent

Am sorry Stella. Will cheer you up Sat.

miss annie

I sympathise Stella, I moved due to noisy neighbours in my previous flat. Two children in a one bedroom flat must be incredibly stressful for the children and parents, not sure how they could keep them silent all evening. Kids make a noise, it's not like someone playing loud music where you can get the council to intervene. Moving house probably will be the only solution sadly. What is the landlord harassing you about? Islington Law Centre can help you with legal advice about this, and it is free to low wage earners.

Stella

Thank you. Problem is that it's been going on for ages. Years, to be honest in different flats. It seems I'm attracting those egoistic people. I know that two sets of neighbours were annoyed at my previous downstairs neighbours, but sort of put up with them, until the third set moved in and gave them an earful and since them have no problems anymore. <br><br>It's now got to the point that I'm already pissed off when I hear them coming home as I know it's going to start again. I'm looking to move anyway, but till then I'm in danger of losing it. Earplugs don't help, tried it; so today I resorted to putting up Eminem on my laptop as loud as the laptop allowed and went into the kitchen to finish building my bike. Took two hours or so, then it still went on and I went out for a walk again, fleeing the constant noise. I'm a person who's rather quiet, don't have a telly, don't have a stereo, always wear slippers inside. If I watch a film I do it with headphones. I close my doors silently and think of others. No idea why others can't do the same. <br><br>Sutent: really looking forward to our ride. The bike's done, bar the finishing touches. <br>

Stella

Thank you, annie, I'll get in touch with them. Don't want to go into detail re my landlord, but he's that sort of person, who shouts at you on the phone because he had a bad night sleep or whatnot, then just hangs up on you. He's threatened to pull the internet cable out of the wall, etc. This flat has been a nightmare since moving in and, although not a person of regrets, I deeply regret moving into this place. Horrible, horrible person, he is.<br><br>Re the kids: I blame the parents, although they're surprising well coping for being mainly kept inside, it's still pretty nerve wracking if you have the thumping vibrating. Even the iguana is irritated, looking at me as if I'd done something when I'm quietly sitting here on the couch. I feel the vibrations. <br><br>Does anyone know if the CAB is open tomorrow, in case I can't get an urgent appointment with the Islington Law Centre?<br>

miss annie

Try googling. I would urge you to look for a flat/room in an old Victorian house if at all possible. My previous flat was in a building like yours and I know how badly the noise echoes about. in this house I rarely hear anything from upstairs neighbours or either side.

Stella

Yeah, I'd love to live in a flat like that. I had it equally bad with my beloved studio in Stokey. Lived there for 5 years and LOVED that place. Went well for 2.5 years with three sets of guys upstairs, but then party girls moved in and I mean party girls. Every weekends coke parties up to 30 people and mega loud music till 7am. Or one of them brought people home after work (pub) at 2am and that went on for hours, too. <br><br>I killed the neighbours who came afterwards, but I can't keep killing my neighbours, it wears off at some point. <br><br>(Killed them brutally in a novel.)<br>

Toddlesocks

Stella I really sympathise with you , I have a downstairs neighbour from hell, with a son who she gets to deliberately stamp on the stairs next to my bedroom ( when shes not banging on the ceiling and deliberately continuously  slamming doors ect ). I am so quiet she has to go outside to see if my light is on most of the time, to be sure i am in, and worth her continuing the harassment.  I know how stressful and depressing it can be, totally life disrupting! <div><br></div><div>She has ran the four previous occupants of my flat out, giving one a  nervous breakdown. The neighbours were taking bets how long i would last! Survived 6 yrs, only because we escape to our boat, or the in laws   for a break. <div><br></div><div>There is a very good website with lots of info on it called 'neighbours from hell', they are also good to vent to.</div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://www.nfh.org.uk/">http://www.nfh.org.uk/</a></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>It sounds like you really need legal advice about your landlord</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Best of luck with it.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div>

harpistic

Lots of sympathies - I had a similar problem when I lived in New Cross, two students moved into the flat above mine, and after that, we had to put up with the sound of them thundering up and down their hallways, loud music, and knocking over things in the room above my bedroom at all hours of the night. Even getting the council out didn't help. You *are* entitled to (I don't remember the exact wording) enjoy peace and quiet in your own home, but in practice, it's very hard to enforce. Wishing you lots of luck - and possibly a new home.

Stella

Not possibly, definitely. I can't deal with this situation. My nerves are raw, and I have quite a few things on my plate. Then the nasty landlord, who's basically now making it his main purpose to get me out of this flat. I've only moved in in August. He's the father (owner of this and two other flats in this building, and freeholder of the plot) of my previous landlord (same building). <br>The previous tenants left me a nasty surprise, which I didn't see when I quickly checked the flat while they were still living there: a massive cockroach infestation. I could not believe it when they started to crawl out of every corner the evening I'd moved in. Called my landlord (understandably distressed) and told him about the problem. <br>What did he reply? Then don't take the flat if it upsets you so much! <br>He then went away for a week and left me to deal with this situation. I killed at least 20 to 30 roaches each day, couldn't use my kitchen, only stayed in my bedroom, always a flip flop at hand as I was smacking them left, right, and centre. I kept asking my landlord to do something about it, I already cleaned and disinfected my flat constantly and bought DE, storage containers for food, etc. After two weeks, he sent his son to put down some boric acid mix and clean a little, but only in the kitchen. Back then he said, 'You know, you could always get a cat.' He laughed about his wit and I said I don't want a cat, and that this infestation needed someone professional with that gel, and he replied he isn't used to being herassed by his tenants.<br><br>Err? Herassed? The previous tenants didn't say a word, not to me, not to him. I was shocked. One day, landlord rang my buzzer and 'delivered' a pest control man o-ton: Just found him walking on the street, which the man then confirmed later. The cockroach situation is finally under control, I think. Haven't seen them for a while. Neither the mice.<br><br>He also keeps repeating that he didn't want me here in the first place, which puzzles me. He's known me for almost 2 years, we were always getting on beforehand, but somehow he wants to sell this flat, rather than rent it.Fair enough, but why let it to me then in the first place? He's now also pulling all the stops, saying I'm keeping an illegal animal. First off, iguanas aren't illegal and second, he knew I have my big boy. Had him when I moved into the flat upstairs back then. He'd seen him several times and always kept joking about how it. Even asked if the iguana didn't eat cockroaches. (They don't, and even if they were I wouldn't feed him those bastards feeding of rubbish.) <br><br>The cable issue for the Internet was because Virgin didn't fix the cable properly to the house. I'd called them and arranged an appointment, but somehow it didn't happen. Will have to call them again. In the meantime, landlord called me, standing outside the house, shouting at me through the telephone why there's a sat dish. How should I know, I didn't order it? I have cable and cable only for Internet, he accused me of having it without his permission to drill (which sort of is true), but there was a hole with a cable in the wall already from the previous tenants. So he shouted at me that it's no wonder mice and whatnot could get in with the house being like a Swiss Cheese, he made it sound as if it were all my fault. <br><br>The list goes on. And that in just over 3 months. He hasn't commented on the issue in my bathroom, which started as mold (ceiling), then the wallpaper came down a bit and I recently realised it's basically raining through from my upstairs neighbours. I informed him, but no reply. I guess he doesn't intent to do something about it. <br><br>This all is just a nightmare and I want to be out of here rather sooner than later. It's just so, so difficult to find a decent place that doesn't cost too much. And I'd love to stay in this area.<br><br>Okay, unloaded, thanks for reading. At least it's not raining. :-)<br>

deimarti

I am sorry you have to go through this but it seems that if the landlord is horrible person you should move out, I would not have stayed in the first place with the cockroach infestation, it will go with you were ever you go, make sure you desinfect you staff before you move out to another place, Stella dear dont think twice get out of there it will not change. I am sure you can get a better place. what kind of property are you looking for? 1 o 2 bedroom flat and how much you pay right now? does the landlord got deposit? how many weeks notice you have to give? I am sure you can find something else around the area.<br>

Stella

I didn't stay because I wanted to. If if had been for me, I'd have moved out that same day, but situations aren't the same for everyone, so it's not that easy to find a flat 'just like that'. I've been searching for a while now. Basically, even before I moved into this place.<br>There aren't any cockroaches anymore. I've checked everything and haven't seen them in a while. Needless to say that I was absolutely stressed out because I didn't want to go to sleep. Had I knows about this, I wouldn't have taken the flat, but it was too late, I was already in and my previous landlord started to move in upstairs.<br><br>I'm looking for either a large studio (with separate kitchen) or a 1-bed flat. Since I'm trying to start a business, I don't want to set my budget too high. 800/900 per month. Want to follow Misscara's advice and search at HL/HG. Flats here are extremely expensive. <br>

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Sutent

Stella I would sit zorro for free if you need.

Stella

Well, neither CAB or Islington Law Centre are open. I'm almost expecting a letter of termination. Nothing I can do about that right now. <br>Re my hearing: I've got ADHD, and with it comes a very sensitive hearing. I can, so to speak, hear the grass growing. One reason for my being able to cycle with head phones and still hear the traffic. I'm super alert, always have been. I don't have speakers, I wish I had a massive stereo to give them an earful and disturb them for a change. The walls are unbelievably thin, if the guy upstairs goes pissing, I can hear it in my living room. Kids downstairs are running about once again, so I'm leaving to get to the bike shop and get my bike ready for tomorrow. <br><br><br>Sutent: you have no idea what you'd let yourself in for; he seems to start his breeding season and I'd never let anyone near him in that time. Unless you like visits to the A&E and don't need all your fingers. :-)<br>I don't want to house sit, first of all because I don't sleep well in other people's beds and second, I want/need to keep an eye on the iguana for several reasons. My friend had offered me to stay with her back then when it was so bad with the roaches, but I felt I'd rather keep an eye on the situation. I'm a bit of a control freak that way. <br><br><br>

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gardener-joe

...

Stella

Cheers, Misscara. Please don't go looking. I know you want to help, but it's not your battle. If you stumble over something, fine, but don't spend you time on my behalf. I have the time to look, so I will do that. Will get to the agents and whatnot immediately next week and pull all stops. I'd take something that's not perfect for now, I can live with that, as you said, I just want to get out of here. As long as I've got my boy with me, all's fine. <br><br><br>

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Toddlesocks

Good grief, what a nightmare, I really hope you find somewhere soon Stella, even if temporary.<div><br></div><div><br><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div>

Mirandola

Do you have to stay in London for work? Half your budget gets you this in Matlock, Derbyshire, and the countryside there is very beautiful: http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/property-44227475.html

Stella

I want to stay in London, yes. If push comes to shove I'll have to share, but I'd really rather not. I'll go looking after the holidays and I'll find something. I just have to. My big boy is normally never a problem as he's in a cage. If I'm not wrong then my contract ends in Feb anyway. <br>

Toddlesocks

It might be worth placing a wanted ad on Gumtree ect.

Stella

Nope. That's going to attract scam-artists. Been there, done that. Waste of time.<br>

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Stella

Yep, that was exactly my experience two years ago. I got my flat upstairs through Gumtree, though. <br>