I've just sat in front of two eight to ten year olds on the bus up from Kings Cross. Most of the bus was listening in, trying to decide whether to laugh, cuff them or call the Social Services. Stuff I can remember:

"I only know one girl who isn't a virgin. I think she's twelve. I said to her 'you should come round to my yard', I said. Then, three seconds later, you won't be a virgin no more. Three seconds yeah - that's all it'll take and you won't be a virgin no more."

"I know a boy right, who has never kissed a girl. And HE"S NINETEEN. I tell you. If I haven't kissed a girl by the time I'm like....twelve....I'll be well depressed. I'll stop a girl in the street and just say, come over here for a chat. Then I'll just kiss her."

"There's this woman I see. I don't know her, right, but I see her. She was giving me evils the other day. So I showed her a condom. It was well good."

"My first kiss was when I was three. Only it wasn't on my lips - it was on my mole. That's why I wear jumpers like this - to cover it up. I've stabbed it loads of times, but all that ever happens is that it bleeds."

They don't need a policy, from what I can tell they just need a good shag.