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He went off with a piece of paper with my address on promising that he could post back the next week, but i never received it. I was fairly convinced i would at the time though.
I rather hope he was a octogenarian fraudster, rather than he was so penniless he couldn't send it back, or he popped his clogs old the national express home.
I left my mate in my car to get something from the shop and while I was in there a guy came up to my mate and asked to use the lighter.
My friend took out the lighter and the guy said he wanted to light some incense in his car and would bring the lighter back straight away, so my mate handed it over and the guy said "You'll be lucky if you get that back" and walked away!
Then when I came out of the shop, just as my friend was telling me what happened the guy came back and handed back the lighter, but the metal from the top was missing and it was a bit melted around where the flame would be.
And after he gave back the lighter he said "And could you help me out, I need a couple of quid" We said no, and started driving away and he was following us shouting "Ok, fifty pee, please"
Obviously the crack blag stories are a bit more sophisticated round our way.
A couple of years ago someone stole my car. It wasn't outside my house any more. I couldn't figure out why - it was a really badly beaten up old jalopy, full of dents and scratches. Turns out I'd left a set of keys in the boot though, so it was an easy steal.
I went outside and walked around, and suddenly I saw it - a hundred yards away at the other end of the street, with a geezer sitting in it.
"Excuse me," I said. "That's my car."
"Is it?" said the geezer, quite neutrally.
He looked a bit apologetic.
"Sorry," he said. "I thought it had been dumped."
II got a bit indignant. "Dumped? Do you mind? It's not dumped. That's my car, and I want it back."
"Right-ho. I haven't got the keys any more," he said. "Hold on." He got on his mobile and spoke to someone. "Two minutes."
Sure enough two minutes later, a souped up cortina with tinted windows and spoilers came roaring round the corner, and there was a guy sitting in it with a vest and a gold chain. He had his arm out the window, and dangling on the end of his fingers were my car keys. He had a big smile on his face. "Sorry mate," he said, cool as anything.
I took the keys. We both looked at each other for a bit.
And then we shook hands.
Now that's a good old fashioned SGR crim. A gent, underneath.